I've developed a new philosophy on the F-word that will ultimately cause me to eliminate it from my vocabulary.
Being a married guy in my twenties, without kids or conservative linguistic beliefs, I've thrown around the big efferoony from time to time. Julie does too. Oh yes, she does, like a Navy soldier with extra KP--except she doesn't actually do anything KP related. The kitchen is as foreign to her as airplane controls are to Navy soldiers.
That paragraph made me dizzy.
Okay, so here's why if you're a swearer you should avoid EF YOU SEE KAY. By wasting fook on insignificant concerns ("Holy floop, that's a juicy apple!") you have nothing to say when something truly disturbing happens.
My problem is that I've cheapened farp in my own mind. It means nothing anymore. And since it means nothing, when the teenager in the BMW that his parents bought him for his 16th birthday (even though last year they found marijuana in his bedroom), cuts us off with no turn signal, endangering our unborn child, I have nothing meaningful to say. So I stew. And then I find myself getting angry two days later at a non-juicy apple.
Point being, I'm not going to say frake unless I really, really need to.
And now, ladies and gentlemen, I have hereby reached the maturity of a 13-year-old.
...and the next logical step is to create a blog about it.
About Me
- Dan
- Minnesota, United States
Blog Archive
-
▼
2008
(205)
-
▼
June
(26)
- Goof-around time
- Stereotyping guys who like guns
- Comma
- Pillow talk
- A light problem
- Older, wiser
- Using my head
- Clutter
- Special order
- Supermom
- Pregnancy fingernail analysis
- Back
- Camden
- Oh boy oh boy...
- House husband
- Sharing
- Pop goes the crazy pregnant lady
- Pain
- Dogs = Kids
- Tulip snack
- Hot date
- Hairy dilemma
- Cousin It
- Rough
- Glory
- Identity
-
▼
June
(26)
4 comments:
Hi Dan! I'm commenting on your blog because no one else is lately, and I didn't want you to feel like we think your blog is dumb. Everyone loves your funny, entertaining blog, me especially. Of course, I am your Mom, so anything you do is wonderful, but still, it's very witty.
Sigh. I have a blog only a mother could love. Well, at least I have a nice face.
Yes I read your blog too, but I rarely find anything witty in my brain to say. Plus I'm still coping with my devastation at learning that MY BLENDER was GOOD-WILLED!!!! :| It was not even my fault! It was on your Target list! How was I to know that someone had already gotten it for you at a non-Target store, leaving it to remain on the list as if it was still the perfect gift, just waiting to be purchased by some thoughtful sister??!!?!! *breathes* Well, just so you know, when Christmas rolls around you're getting one of those manual hand mixers we used for chocolate pudding when we were little... from Goodwill! Ha! Take that!
Typical. That wasn't your blender! You got us a dust buster. Or rather, we took back your gift and got a dust buster. I remember this. The blender referenced in this post was from old Mr. Witherspoon from the haunted amusement park.
But speaking of which, we just got this sweet handheld vacuum to replace that dust buster. It's way better because...never mind.
You should donate mom's "mixer" to Goodwill and then rebuy it and give it to me. Maybe as a 5-year anniversary gift. Then we can replace it with a better mixer.
Post a Comment