Pulp

Our house is in that horrible in-between state, where some rooms are ready for baby but at the expense of other rooms, which are basically destroyed. What we're discovering is that we have a lot of perfectly functional junk. If you want any, come on over.

For instance, I staged an impromptu lawn sale this morning, placing a trunk, a desk and chair, and a dresser on the edge of our lawn with "Free" signs on them. As of this evening, only the desk remains. Yes, we had one vulture who was nice enough to take the desk's chair (which was pushed into the desk) but not the desk itself.

I also performed exploratory surgery on the front closet and extracted 15-20 games that we will never again play. We're talking Hungry Hungry Hippos, which was extremely fun the one and only time we played it. If I remember correctly, I successfully pushed my button the fastest, giving my hippo the most pronounced eating disorder.

Also in the mix are the Monsters' Incorporated version of Memory, three Scrabble sets (I'm keeping two), half a box of Jenga, and countless other gems.

And we're just scratching the surface. Luckily, Julie is calm and rational about the house in this in-between state.

Did you seriously believe that? Yeah, Julie's a mushroom-cloud layin' motherclucker, motherclucker. She's superfly TNT. She's the Guns of the Navarone.