Class of 2031

If all goes according to plan, our kid will graduate from college in 2031. Tuition will be six digits a year by then, but we are of course expecting a full scholarship. You know, I was going somewhere with all that, setting up a joke or something, but just typing it makes me want to hurl a little.

We spent part of the weekend in Duluth for my cousin's graduation from UMD. Like most college graduates, she doesn't quite know what she wants to do with her life. Really, she has what any 22-year-old wants: an apartment in Minneapolis and graduation money.

On the drive back, we made the requisite stop at Tobies for elevensies (meal taken at 11:00, between second breakfast and lunch for all you non-Hobbits; by the way, the Tobies sign should have an apostrophe somewhere, but we eat there anyway). I ordered coffee to go with my burger, but Julie fiendishly snatched it from my hands.

"Me coffee no go bye bye."
"You're so weird." Sip.
"Need coffee sustenance. Give, wench."
"I'm just having a little." Sluuuurp.
"You're going to give our unborn child ADHD."

Is that true, though? I know pregnant women can technically drink coffee every day in moderation and be fine. But can't it also give you a child who has to wear a helmet at recess?

At any rate, with skyrocketing college tuition, Julie should be sticking to more intellectual beverages like Ovaltine and V-8.