Julie and I have a bet about whether my mom knew of the pregnancy before we announced it.
A little background. My mom is connected to the worldwide brain network of moms. This is in no way affiliated with the internet, since she double-clicks everything and types with two fingers. She just always knows stuff. Like, I was 19 and on the phone saying, "Mom, there's uh, this girl I like and stuff. I dunno."
And she replied sounding like she was shooting soda cans off the back fence: "Dan! ask! her! out! She! might! be! the! one!" And so on.
So four years of dating and almost five years of marriage later, Julie and I made this bet, and when we announced the big news over breakfast, I had the distinct impression that my mom was feigning surprise. I asked her directly if she had somehow known, and she played dumb. "Oh Dan. Ohhhh Dan. No, I did not know. Did not know."
Then Julie explained the bet and acted all smart about it.
But yesterday my dad called me.
"I was hoping for your voicemail."
"Hi Dad."
Then he said he possessed proof that my mom DID know about Julie being preggers. He told me to hang up and not answer again when he called back, and moments later I listened to his voicemail, which was actually my mom voicemailing him the day before they came over for the fateful breakfast.
"So Tom, Dan just invited us to breakfast on Sunday. Do you think? Could it be anything? I just...I don't know. I think it might be something." And the word "something" had a higher pitch than the other words, like the two tones of a doorbell. "It could be SOMEthing."
She knew! But since her voicemail to my dad didn't explicitly say, "I hereby predict that Julie is preggers with our grandbaby," my stubborn pregnant wife claims I lost the bet. Unbelievable.
...and the next logical step is to create a blog about it.
About Me
- Dan
- Minnesota, United States
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6 comments:
That's gotta be your funniest blog I've ever read, Dan. And it's true that I type with 2 fingers and double click on the computer. I swear to God it's like a club with a secret code. I halfway want to belong, but have no idea what the rules are- hence the double click, just to be on the safe side.
So Dad just let me listen to my voicemail I left him 2 days before we came for breakfast, and I've finally stopped giggling. To tell you the absolute truth, I thought you guys were trying to get pregnant since last August when we were on vacation together, and I found out from Julie that she had given up red meat! Is'nt that hilarious?! But hey, why else would someone suddenly stop eating red meat? Love you guys so much!
Mom
That is unbelievable. Just for the record, despite whatever Preggers says, there was no doubt about the meaning of the message in the mind of the recipient.
Have you heard about the End of the Internet? It’s being phased out. www no more. It always was a weird way to begin a website right?
So Dan, I can't help but wonder what went on last August to make your own mother suspect you were trying to get pregnant while on vacation together...
Geez, you make it sound like we all slept in the same bed or something. I think you need a cold shower.
Dan, it's just the "Mom-as-psychic" thing...I knew too, or I thought I did...but John just kept telling me not to get my hopes up, but then, when you and Julie got to the picnic-table-in-the-middle-of-Wisconsin-restaurant and Julie had to order and eat before we got there, I was secretly hoping...even though I was told not to...!
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