There's a practical joke that all parents are in on, and it's telling soon-to-be-new parents that infant poo doesn't stink at first. I mean come on. Are you telling me that infants, in their infinite capacity to vomit and poo, actually create poo that is benign in smell? Are you seriously telling me that their shit doesn't stink?
Julie insists this is true. Therefore, we have not yet bought a diaper pail because apparently the right way to go is to simply throw away the neutral-smelling diaper in the regular trash. Perhaps you take out the trash more often so your kitchen doesn't become the poo kitchen, but that's it.
Unbelievable, I say. I predict that in the first week I'll be sent to Target for a Diaper Genie or whatever. Diaper Genie? What, do you rub it and the poo forms into a giant talking poo that comes out and grants three wishes?
Okay, that's stupid. Cheap toilet humor. The Poo Genie. Hee hee.
Julie has a headache that won't go away. It gets stronger and weaker, but for the past couple days, she's woken up with it and gone to bed with it. Which sucks. But tomorrow she has a previously scheduled doctor appointment, so hopefully they'll give her something for it, because Tylenol does nothing. It's stressful when your extremely pregnant wife has a perpetual headache. Makes you incapable of a thought deeper than "Poo Genie." But I know what my first wish would be: healthy baby. Second wish: no more headache for Julie. Third wish: no-smell poo. Or opposable toes...it's tough to decide.
...and the next logical step is to create a blog about it.
About Me
- Dan
- Minnesota, United States
5 comments:
They lie, eventually it stinks, sitting in your trash mixing with the coffee grounds and old chicken. I suggest a small trash can OUTSIDE the back door. No stink in the house.
I found that there was no stink until about the third month - especially if mom is nursing...but when you do buy one - the diaper genie II - way better than the first one :)
It's a really weird either/or kind of deal. It starts off as this ridiculously sticky black tar that surprisingly doesn't smell all that bad, then switches to a much-easier-to-clean mustard yellow (complete with mustard seeds) that cleans up easier and most definitely stinks. How's that for vivid imagery?
Ditto what Nathan said. The yellow junk does smell (it's worse when they start solids or formula), but I'd take that any day over the black tar that comes at the very beginning. If you want to earn 1000 husband points with Julie, tell her you'll do all of the tar diapers and watch her laugh as you attempt to use a slightly damp paper towel thingy to wipe tar off your daughter's rear while it continues to ooze out and all of your visitors and nurses look on. Yes, ooze. It's like watching someone tap a keg of molasses! : ) Ahh, the joys of parenthood.
Good grief, Susi. I never thought the image of someone tapping a keg would turn my stomach. And yet, I can't argue with just how accurate that description is...
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