Install

Our car seat is rated high for safety, and it's the lightest one on the market. I'm trying to wrap my head around why it's so difficult to install. I haven't attempted it yet, but I hear you're supposed to take it to the fire department so they can double-check your work.

Is it seriously that complicated? I understand the necessity of getting it right, so I will bring it to the fire department. But I'll feel like a complete tool.

"Um, sirs? Could one of you come away from the card table and check my car seat? Wow, that's an awfully big hose."

They will all crowd around the car. "Did you read the instructions?" the gigantic one will ask.

"No. I mean yes. I mean yeah totally. Not that I needed to, you know? Pretty, um, self-explanatory."

"Self-explana-what?" the bald, bearded one will say, and the others will laugh.

"Um yeah, heh heh, so anyways fellas, did I do it right, or is my baby gonna be like decapitated or something?"

They will not find this funny whatsoever. Gigantor and Baldy will shake their heads gravely while the old grizzled one speaks:

"Well son, somehow you managed to put it in upside-down. So yes, decapitation is a possibility." He'll pat me on the shoulder. "Are you mentally handicapped?"

It'll go downhill from there, probably ending with them rescuing me from a tree branch like a scared kitty.

Well, I'm sure it'll be fine. They'll appreciate that I'm diligent enough to get it checked out. Still, I'll pore over those instructions this weekend and try not to screw it up too royally. Think they'll let me run the siren?