I've been trying all week to catch up on sleep, so the past couple mornings have found me remarkably sore. It's like I contort myself all night and then my alarm freezes my muscles in that position for the day.
Tonight I sprawled on the couch and had my pregnant wife sit on various parts of my back and shoulders in a vain attempt to de-knot me. Mid-experiment, she realized how much power she possessed in her new heavy, fragile state. It's my own fault. I mean here's a girl who has gained a significant amount of weight, cannot be shoved off for fear of accidentally opening the cervix door, and who is partially evil.
Suddenly she was bouncing up and down and putting her fingers into my ears and ribs. My pregnant wife was kicking my ass.
Men, do not allow yourselves to be emasculated in this way. Under no circumstances should you allow your pregnant wife to sit on you. You will not win because even if you possess the strength to push her off, you risk inducing labor in doing so. Prevention is key, and I take some solace in sharing my story with others in hopes that they learn from my foolishness.
In other news, Julie's house arrest today involved working all day long to solve the problems of one and all at her office. I got home and found her a crabby, tense, tearful shell of her former self, who had not watched a single episode of Grey's Anatomy all day. Now that I mention it, I think through me, she was kicking the ass of her job.
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