Thursday, November 6, 2008

Achievement

Part of what made the Cosby show funny was that the parents were so successful and the kids were such slackers. And not to imply that Julie and I are the ambition-equivalent of a doctor or lawyer, but certainly in our own ways we have made our careers a priority.

I hope we don't become overbearing parents, always calling teachers for grade clarifications and enrolling our child in every activity imaginable. If she does happen to possess talent in a sport or the arts, I hope it doesn't become about being the best, because I don't want to be one of those fathers who screams at referees. I don't want to volunteer in the ticket office just so my kid gets the lead in the play.

I probably will, though. But what if we have a Cosby kid? What if our daughter becomes a Theo, full of schemes and ideas but no follow-through, a lovable headache of a child? It's pretty much inevitable, isn't it? And I suppose that's okay.

My sister emailed me today. Clearly her sense of humor is similar to mine:

"By the way, she can learn to read by 10 months if you pay only $129.95 now. Seriously, I saw an amazing infomercial for it. Of course, she'll be reading trashy romance novels by age 5 and totally bored in kindergarten, a complete outcast, etc., but at least she will be able to read a flashcard that says KANGAROO."

I laughed aloud when I read it, but then I must admit that for a split second I thought, "Seriously?" And by thinking "Seriously?" I was considering whether it was possible for my daughter, too. The unborn carry such promise that it's easy to get swept away with the notion that within Julie's two-story bungalow of a womb might dwell greatness.

But entertaining that fantasy for more than a second or two seems greedy. It comes from wanting the best for your child, but there's an element of wanting the pride of having created a genius, and that's straight-up vanity in perhaps its grossest form. We just watched a documentary called "My Kid Could Paint That," which is about a toddler who paints like a prodigy and whose paintings have sold for six-figure prices. The film provides some compelling evidence that the girl's father might have had more than a little influence on her canvases, though he patently denies it.

Even if the paintings are legit, let's remember that the girl's parents decided to sell them.

I guess part of me hopes our daughter is a lovable slacker, perhaps a Denise or a Vanessa, maybe a Rudy; it would make things a lot simpler.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I saw the same infomercial when I was with my friend Erica! She wanted to get it for her 7 month old baby. I think it was called 'Teach your baby to Read." Erica ended up purchasing the trial package that cost $15 :) But she and her husband were not so sure they would be willing to pay the extra $130 to see if it actually works. Too funny! The babies on the infomercial can read though! I'm with your sister on this one:) http://www.yourbabycanread.com/