We need to find Julie a hobby. She used to scrapbook, make earrings, and knit, but she's bored by those now that she's 85. I can't pawn off any of my hobbies on her. "Hey Julie, kill all these people on the PS3. Defeat these online strangers at Texas hold-em. Build this Lego firetruck. Practice your foosball skills. Write a blog about having a gorgeous man-meat husband." I'd suggest it, but I don't feel like being punched in the neck bone.
How many days this winter will she be able to take our daughter to the mall? It'll get old, won't it? I mean, when the money runs out?
So my new project is to find a hobby for my wife. Call or comment with suggestions.
Also, I must point out that the question, "Does this make me look fat?" becomes a lot more fun when the woman asking it has recently eaten a baby. It's a trap, I realize, but the trap is much more tempting to dive into.
"Does it make you look fat? My god, woman. It--absolutely does not. Nope. Wait, you're pregnant, right? Couldn't even tell." I'm no idiot.
Actually I am, because I say things like, "You should wear it with darker hose."
And she's like, "These are my legs, dumb-ass."
And I'm like, "No, darker TOES, darker toe...nail polish...that I will happily apply for you.
But anyway, preggy needs a hobby.
And by the way, if you read this on Monday, this is Julie's outfit. Do not tell her she needs darker hose.
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3 comments:
Dan - the girls here at work think you are hysterical!! Very funny blog, Daddy-to-be!!! And, don't worry, Julie will have a hobby by the middle of November!!!
Love, Grandma Jackie
A hobby to keep her busy, only long enough? Make a baby blankie.
Two suggestions--
1. Making candles--Soy wax is the greener way to go since it's US made and from replenishible materials.
2. Glycerin soap, the clear-ish kind that starts life as a block of base, then gets goodies added to make it better for your skin and nicer-smelling, then poured into molds and popped out when hard.
I can suggest places to get kits--kits are nice to start with because you get the basics you need, then if you go hog-wild with it you don't have to get much more stuff, mostly more of the things that get used up, like the waxes, soap bases, scents, etc.
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